Outdated & Harmful Terms - What to Avoid and Why
| Outdated / Harmful Term | Issue | Use Instead |
|---|---|---|
| Homosexual (as noun for a person) | Clinical, pathologizing; used during era of psychiatric diagnosis | Gay person, lesbian, queer person |
| Transgendered | Adding "-ed" suggests something done to the person | Transgender (adjective only) |
| A transgender (as noun) | Removes "person" | "A transgender person" or "a trans person" |
| Transsexual | Largely outdated | Transgender (unless someone uses this term for themselves) |
| Transvestite | Outdated, clinical | Cross-dresser |
| Hermaphrodite | Inaccurate, pathologizing | Intersex person |
| Sexual preference | Implies orientation is a choice | Sexual orientation |
| Gay / transgender lifestyle | Implies identity is a behavioral choice | LGBTQ+ people and their lives |
| Born in the wrong body | Not all trans people use this framework | Use the person's own language |
| Preferred pronouns | Implies pronouns are optional | Correct pronouns, or simply "pronouns" |
| Admitted homosexual | Implies shame | "Openly gay," "out" |
| Sex change operation | Overemphasizes surgery | Gender-affirming surgery / care |
| Condition / disorder for intersex variations | Medicalizes natural variation | Intersex variation or trait |
Pronoun Etiquette
- Don't assume pronouns from appearance
- When unsure, use they/them until you know
- Introducing your own pronouns creates space for others to share theirs
- If you misgender someone: correct yourself briefly ("she - sorry, they"), move on. Don't over-apologize
- Using correct pronouns is a basic form of respect, not optional
Allyship Principles
- Listen first - understand someone's experience before assuming what they need
- Educate yourself - the labor of explanation shouldn't fall entirely on LGBTQ+ people
- Speak up - use privilege to advocate where LGBTQ+ people may not feel safe
- Distinguish support from saviorism - follow LGBTQ+ people's lead
- Recognize rainbow washing - organizations adopting LGBTQ+ symbols without structural action